So originally I was going to start this post off with some bullshit along the lines of, “Well I’m a romance writer so I love romance and I find any material on dating and relationships soooooo fascinating. That’s why I came across this book and it’s just sooooo great I had to recommend it.”
But fuck it. Hi, I’m Samantha. I’m a romance writer, I’m single, and I hate dating. I used to be really good at dating. Before Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge came into the world. I’m actually really good at relationships. I just haven’t been able to get to that point. Probably because for a writer, I’m not very refined in the art of the text message. I seriously suck at it. What’s too much? What’s not enough? Does that read too harsh and not playful? I sounded mad? What? I put a “ha!” after. That’s not anger, that’s jovial!
I’ve done it all. Listen to the podcasts. Watched the shows. Read the articles. Bought the books: He’s Just Not That Into You, Get the Guy, Modern Romance…etc…
And those are all great books. Do not get me wrong. I have learned a lot from all of them and for some people they work. But they all have one thing in common.
They’re all written by dudes, and therefore, are all dudes’ advice for women. Yes, I know, He’s Just Not That Into You, was written along with a woman. But the dude owned that book. And like I said don’t get me wrong, he’s a smart dude, it’s great advice. But sometimes a girl just needs to hear it from her girls (or in this case the girls who wrote the book).
Enter the Betches and their book I Had A Nice Time and Other Lies…: How to Find Love & Sh*t Like That.
Now, I want you to memorize this: WWBD?
That’s going to be your godsend from now on whenever you have: a bad dating app match, ghosted text convo, or an hour lost to over analyzing anything to do with a guy. Just stop the madness! Ask yourself “What Would the Betches Do?” (Hence WWBD?). The only other acceptable meaning for WWBD? is What Would Beyonce Do? Well, Beyonce doesn’t need the Betches book, she has Lemonade. She’s good. And if she wasn’t, she’d do what the Betches are telling you to do. Trust me. They’re of the same badass mindset.
Who are the Betches? The Betches are three badass (I’m saying badass a lot, I know, but it’s true. So, fuck you Repetition Police), business-saavy, social media champions, female, friends who met in college (Cornell, holla! I didn’t go there but my older sister did so it’s basically the same thing), and created a blog that turned out to be an instant success. Why? Because it’s funny, intelligent, and real. Oh, and it’s geared towards women. Because men have enough. (Try and argue this men, and I will hound you with loads of articles telling you you’re wrong. This is my blog. Stop it.) You may read more about their awesomeness here. So, being a blog/Instagram geared towards women, of course the Betches are going to handle dating.
Is this book mind-blowing, never before spoken revelations? No. It’s not. Because there really isn’t anything new. But it’s effective as fuck.
Why? Because if you take it seriously, and apply what they say (because um hello Cornell?), this book undoes everything that the current dating society has manifested in women, single or otherwise, everywhere. It’s the most feminine feminist book ever. #slay. And it’s funny. Because the Betches are hilarious. Duh. This book is for the woman who needs to revamp her game (not just dating but in life), not because she doesn’t have any, or hasn’t ever had any, but because her game is there, it’s just gotten a little dull. Polish it baby! Rock this advice! You do you, boo. Just not the you before you read this book, we hated her fake sad ass.
But what about what guys think? I mean guys know what guys want right?
STOP CARING WHAT GUYS THINK! They don’t care what you think! (No they do. The good ones at least).
The Betches are smart, I’ve said this. They anticipated your whining by adding who they refer to as “the Head Pro.” He’s a dude. He never says it outright but pretty sure he is. He talks about dudes and says “we”, implying he part of the dudes group. He’s a dude alright?
See? Badass chicks giving badass advice, with a little take from a dude here and there. The Betches have you covered. Once again, this is probably stuff you HAVE heard before. You just weren’t ready to listen. But the Betches deliver it in a way that doesn’t make you feel like shit. Instead it makes you say “okay time to get over myself and be a badass bitch.” Or betch in this case.
Now read this book. Better yourself for you, because you fucking deserve it, and then go get some.